starting over again… AGAIN.

So here I am. AGAIN.

Questioning not just what I wanna do for a living, but how I want to live my day-to-day life.

So that it matters.

So that no matter what happens or if/when the bad (worse) stuff starts, I can look back & be happy & be proud of who I was and what I did with my time. 

And I’ve got sooooooo many BIG IDEAS for things I’d like to be doing. But I need to find and filter the things into what works with who I am NOW, in THIS current climate and with the mental/physical/emotional energy and capacity I’m currently working with… rather than what USED to work for me. 

See… PAST me was still hung up on the “hustle.” Working from promises that if I just put my head down and did the work, there would be great rewards. Unfortunately, I’ve come to learn that life (and business) doesn’t work that way. That it leads to BUSY-ness, not necessarily fulfillment.

I used to think that running a good business was all about putting the puzzle pieces together. How to brand myself, how to market myself, how to tweak my website & write my copy to make it more appealing. How to run Facebook ads to reach more people. How to capture leads with a freebie, and create an automated email marketing sequence to “sell to people in my sleep.” 

And that doing all of these things, in the right order, would lead to success. And money. And happiness. 

But that’s bullshit. 

Especially since each new piece of the puzzle had come from some “expert” selling their knowledge for a price… anywhere from $27 to $650 or $1000 or MORE. 

And each time, I’d get sucked in. Telling myself that if I just did this ONE THING, my business would finally “work right.” And when THAT thing didn’t work… maybe the NEXT thing would. 

Over and over again I’d learn, and implement. Spend the money. And fail. 

It was like a bad version of Vegas… because instead of pulling the arm of the slot machine & at least getting some free drinks out of it, I was spending 40+ hours working each week, with NOTHING to show for it. And not even getting the tiniest bit tipsy.

So here I am. Again. 

Questioning everything that I’ve learned, that I “know” to be “true.”

And undoing what I’ve done so that I can do it BETTER this time around.